In The Shadow of the Volcano

I am staying here in Nicaragua for four weeks. I run five miles every morning in the shadow of several active volcanoes. It is hard to miss them and this part of the country is known as the "ring of fire." I enjoy seeing the smoke coming from them. On one, Volcan Telika, I stood on the crater's edge and looked into the smokey abyss. My thoughts today are on the meaningfulness of both the structure of the volcano and the empty hole that I was looking down.

I am reading two books right now that deal with the mind. They seem to be saying the complete opposite of each other. One says that we need to use the mind to improve our lives. The other says that the mind and all its activity causes us to miss our real lives. So which is right? Makes me think of the volcano. What makes the volcano? The large cone or the empty hole that the cone forms? Seems to me you can't have one without the other. I guess that's my holistic perspective at work.

Our lives are much better when we use our thoughts to mold our perspective on what is happening to us. After all, we need to use our minds to have a holistic perspective on life. We can use our minds to find the good in things that at first appear bad. We can focus on improving our lives, being loving and kind, we even use our minds to meditate.

At the same time we need the emptiness of the volcano's cone. We need that vast space where we cannot see what will happen next. We need the adventure and even danger that the gases bring up from deep within. That is where we can find our creativity, our energy, our source of strength.

I think our lives require us to make space for space, to quiet our thoughts and be with that darkness of not knowing for a while every day. I think then we will find that we can use our minds in a much more productive and helpful way.

When I stood at the crater's edge I was scared. My mind threw out thoughts like...suppose the ledge gives way, what a way to die! And another thought...how freaking beautiful all of this is! And then I just stood there, not thinking, standing in awe, taking it all in to somewhere deep inside of me. We need to stand at the crater's edge of our lives and take it all in, as often as we can. I want to use my mind and I want to use my stilled mind. I want my life to have the strong structure of the volcano and I want to pull out from the depths of the earth all the molten goop that simmers down below. It begins to sound like the shadows of our unconscious...and that might be a good thing.

Success requires living moment by moment

Sitting in my hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand, I recently had some time to reflect on things after spending five weeks in Southeast Asia. I was thinking about how easy it was to forget about being self-aware, being conscious, living on purpose. I barely took the time to mediate and make healthy food choices. Why? This is what I wrote:

"If we want to live the lives that we dream of we must be diligent. It requires almost constant attention to our thoughts and choices. We can't expect to succeed in life and living if we do not every moment be aware of what we are doing and thinking. Moment by moment we shape our lives, our bodies, our emotions. Not day by day, or week by week, but moment by moment. We must be conscious of what we are doing and thinking.

"There are tricks and skills that can be learned to help this happen. No universal skills, each of us have our own personal preferences that work best for ourselves. For me, I get inspired by books. The more I read, the more they remind me of what I can do and be. It doesn't require long hours of reading, in fact, many short readings work best. I am also motivated and helped to stay on track by talking to other people and hearing what they do."

So, tomorrow I leave for Nicaragua. I am determined to eat raw foods and avoid dead animals. I realize that it is not going to happen on its own, I have to make the effort. I have to make my life in reality what I have determined in my mind what I would like it to be. It is one thing to know what to do, it is another to do it. I know that I have relied for too long on my mind to get things done. Knowing is not enough. I believe I have to enlist my emotions now, which brings me back to having a holistic perspective. To live life fully it requires using our body, mind, emotions, and spirit. The next four weeks will be a test.

By the way, if anyone is interested, my second book Spanish Lessons: A Midlife Adventure in Search of Meaning is available on Amazon. If you do read it please post a review on Amazon.