In The Shadow of the Volcano

I am staying here in Nicaragua for four weeks. I run five miles every morning in the shadow of several active volcanoes. It is hard to miss them and this part of the country is known as the "ring of fire." I enjoy seeing the smoke coming from them. On one, Volcan Telika, I stood on the crater's edge and looked into the smokey abyss. My thoughts today are on the meaningfulness of both the structure of the volcano and the empty hole that I was looking down.

I am reading two books right now that deal with the mind. They seem to be saying the complete opposite of each other. One says that we need to use the mind to improve our lives. The other says that the mind and all its activity causes us to miss our real lives. So which is right? Makes me think of the volcano. What makes the volcano? The large cone or the empty hole that the cone forms? Seems to me you can't have one without the other. I guess that's my holistic perspective at work.

Our lives are much better when we use our thoughts to mold our perspective on what is happening to us. After all, we need to use our minds to have a holistic perspective on life. We can use our minds to find the good in things that at first appear bad. We can focus on improving our lives, being loving and kind, we even use our minds to meditate.

At the same time we need the emptiness of the volcano's cone. We need that vast space where we cannot see what will happen next. We need the adventure and even danger that the gases bring up from deep within. That is where we can find our creativity, our energy, our source of strength.

I think our lives require us to make space for space, to quiet our thoughts and be with that darkness of not knowing for a while every day. I think then we will find that we can use our minds in a much more productive and helpful way.

When I stood at the crater's edge I was scared. My mind threw out thoughts like...suppose the ledge gives way, what a way to die! And another thought...how freaking beautiful all of this is! And then I just stood there, not thinking, standing in awe, taking it all in to somewhere deep inside of me. We need to stand at the crater's edge of our lives and take it all in, as often as we can. I want to use my mind and I want to use my stilled mind. I want my life to have the strong structure of the volcano and I want to pull out from the depths of the earth all the molten goop that simmers down below. It begins to sound like the shadows of our unconscious...and that might be a good thing.