The Key to Making Big Changes

This idea could change your life. I did for me.

If you could get yourself to do the things that you know will make you happy or bring you success, you would be happy and successful. But, like most of us, we know what we need to do...but we don't do it. There are all kinds or reasons and excuses. The bottom line is not that we don't have the ability, it's that we don't have the right thinking. 

For years I wanted to stop eating meat, fish, cheese, eggs. I had all the reasons. Health, environment, compassion for animals. Try as I might I never succeeded. Then I had this idea. I call it brainwashing myself, which my daughter Angela instructed me that that was too negative a term. So, let's call it reconditioning my mind. 

The great thing in our modern world is that you don't need anyone to help you, or do it for you. You do it yourself. It's easy. It's fast. It's simple. It works.  And it doesn't take up a lot of time.

Back when I wanted to change my diet I considered ideas that I learned back in grad school working on my doctorate. Putting together concepts regarding motivation and changing habits, I hit on the idea of using youtube to "recondition" my mind. Knowing that if I could change my mind, that would lead to a change in behavior and actions.  

Every morning, for about 10 minutes, I would watch a youtube video on all the reasons not to eat animal products. (This was for avoidance conditioning.) Every evening, for 10 minutes, I would watch a video on what to eat instead. (This was for attraction conditioning.)

I began to detest the idea of eating animal flesh. I began to discover alternative meals that were delicious. (Who would have thought Indian food could be so good?) It worked. It wasn't painful. It wasn't difficult. I changed my mind and it didn't take willpower or work to change my behavior. 

The videos not only work on your emotions, they give you great ideas and the wisdom of the community of others who want the same as you. You don't have to reinvent the wheel. It's already done for you. The research, the answers, the science, the experiences.

Recently I had been struggling with my running. I love running. For years I ran 5 miles every day. Over the past 3 or 4 years different issues came up which prevented me from doing the 5 miles. And every time I tried to recondition myself I couldn't get there. I would get tired and stop after 2 or 3 miles. And every run was a struggle. 

At first I thought maybe it was because I was now 65 years old. Too old to run 5 miles a day. But, I could see that other people were running marathons and were older than me. No, it wasn't physical, it was mental. And I remembered what I did to change my diet. 

Back on youtube I watched running videos. This time I added a books and articles to read. I had to get back to running. The videos inspired me, books gave me new ideas on what to do. I am happy to say that it worked like a charm. In fact, I'm so excited about running again I'm looking at training for a marathon. 

I am convinced there is no other way so easy to change your life to get what you want with so little effort.  Some of you will think what a sweet little article and idea, and then forget about it, because even 20 minutes a day is too much work for you, too high a price. But, some of you will give it a try and be amazed that you can change your life. What do you want? Go for it!

 

Breathing

This morning while I was meditating, as is my practice every morning, I had an insight. I was paying attention to my breath, a favorite way to quiet my mind and thoughts, and realized that I wasn't the one doing the breathing.

Of course I could control my breath, up to a point, but my breathing was going on of itself. Or was it? If I wasn't doing the breathing then who was? The obvious thing would be to say my body was. But was it? My body does all kinds of things without my awareness. Digestion, fight off infections, eliminate waste, maintain a correct temperature. How do all these things happen without my help?

Okay, so I'm not the one doing the breathing. Who is? My body? But, my body is just a collection of atoms, into molecules, into cells, into tissues, into organs. What does an  atom or molecule know? Or a cell or tissue or organ know for that matter?  They don't have brains. Maybe my body isn't running the show. So who is?

At that point the idea that it was nature came to mind. Nature? What is nature. Plants, animals, mountains, oceans, deserts. No, that is just stuff, material, physical, chemical, biological stuff. Those things can't do anything. I suspect, and this is just my feeling, nature and God are the same. That's what the Seventeenth Century Dutch philosopher Spinoza thought. The intelligence that controls all my body without my awareness is the same intelligence that controls (maintains and created) the universe. 

If not God, then who is running my body when I'm not? I'm open to other suggestions.

So, who cares, what's the point, what difference does it make in real life? For one, to me it's very interesting that there is another intelligence involved in keeping me alive. Me, I'm the awareness of all this. But not the master conductor.  God, or nature, is the energy and intelligence that supports "my" life. There is a partnership, team thing going on. I'm not in this alone. We are not in this alone. When I meditate, when I watch "my" breathing I am watching God. I am watching God keep me alive. I am intimately connected to nature, to all living and non-living parts of this universe. And that is a comforting thought.

A Fish in a Tank

We are fish in a tank. Not really sure where the tank ends. It's a big tank. Actually, we can't see the end of the tank it's so big. We live in this tank, and everything goes along obeying the laws of physics. That is, most of the time for many people.

Some fish in this tank have odd experiences though. For example, this fish here, Frank. Being highly educated and a rational fish accepts the laws and theories of science. Climate change is real. Evolution can be seen in historical perspectives. The universe, I mean this fish tank,  began with a big bang. Etc. 

For many people that's it. All that exists is this fish tank. Everything experienced occurs according to the laws of physics and chemistry in our little world. There is no proof that there is anything beyond the fish tank.

The Frank fish would be happy to agree with these people. He doesn't want to look like a stupid fish believing in fairy tales from the past. How can there be anything beyond our fish tank? But, early in this fish's life strange things happened. Once, while jumping out of the water he saw a glimpse of a sky and land outside the tank! (Maybe it was the LSD he took.) 

But, then it happened another time without help. Not sure that the fish dreamed it up or it actually happened but a voice from outside the tank told him something that surely could not have come from inside the tank. It wasn't just that the voice sounded from outside, but the message was so powerful, such a directional force for the fishes life that the fish is convinced, even 30 years later, that no fish intelligence could ever have made this up.

It happened one time, again, not knowing if this occurred in reality or imagination (so real was the experience), the fish experienced being lifted out of the tank, was shown a dry world, and given another message that could not have been thought up by a fish. How strange. 

At this point the fish didn't know what to believe. Some fish friends think he is silly and some think not. Some have even had similar experiences. But those who have never had any experience of being outside the tank rightfully point to the science that this is impossible. And Frank fish agrees. It is impossible...but, it happened. What can you do? Maybe those experiences were just imagination. Maybe the tank is just imagination. 

The fish still swim in the tank. Who knows? The tank is certainly more interesting these days. Some problems are not meant to be answered but lived with. And who knows...maybe we all get to look out of the tank at some time.

Being Observant

Did you know that being observant can make you happier? Can make your life more peaceful? Can give you more control of your emotions? It can and does.  Recently I have realized that being observant is one of the most useful skills to acquire. It's true.

Normally we live our lives on cruise control. Things happen, we react. We see a Facebook post, it makes us angry.  We do things, and our minds are on something else.  We eat dinner but don't taste what we eat because we are thinking of what to do next. Things happen in our lives that take away our happiness, our peace, our control, and because we are not observant we don't do anything about it. 

I don't know how this came about but the last few months I have been able to observe myself and my life more. It may have something to do with my meditation practice. Meditation often is about becoming more skillful in watching thoughts and life as it comes and goes. I catch myself noticing events and I catch myself not noticing what I have just done (which also is important). 

I live in the very noisy and crowded Vietnamese city of Nha Trang for a good part of the year. Transportation for me is on my motor bike. The Vietnamese, and now the Russians living here, use their horns constantly. Usually to announce their presence and to get out of their way. (In all fairness, not all Vietnamese do this.) I generally get angry at the rudeness. Recently I catch myself, notice my useless emotions, and seeing that they do not make me feel better, I let them go. 

At first the noticing was occasional. Then it became more and more. I began noticing the noticing and that the more I noticed the more I was in control of my reactions to events in my life.

Seeing that this was making me feel better I have attempted to expand my noticing and observing. It works. It works while doing pleasant things too, like eating or getting a massage. The experience becomes richer and more enjoyable.

Becoming more observant and developing the skill of noticing things may be one of the more important abilities we can acquire. It can really make you happier. It can help you do what is important to you, not what you have been conditioned to do. And life can become more peaceful.