Friday, September 21, 2007

Lessons From Denmark

There is a teaching in Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now that talks about the difference between working toward a goal and being excessively focused on that goal because you think that goal will bring you happiness, fulfillment, and a better sense of self. It is a good thing to have goals. In going to Denmark I had certain expectations, hoping for certain things to happen. They didn't.

I spent a lot of time wondering, actually begging the Universe to explain to me why I made such a long and difficult trip and investment if there was nothing to be gotten from it. I've been to Denmark before, it is a beautiful country, but not as pretty as New England in September.

I got all kinds of answers from "it was a mistake" to "next time you'll know better." In the end though, they weren't really answers at all. I've learned that I really don't know very much. And worse, as our brilliant vice-president points out, "we don't know what we don't know." That has more wisdom in it than any thing any politician has said in recent memory. We don't know what we don't know.

All of this thinking that we know what we don't know leads to being pretty miserable. Sometimes, maybe all the time, it is best to not be so attached to what we think we want. When I e-mailed my friend Mike Ryan telling him of the situation he replied: "Dude, you aren't meditating, are you? I can always tell. Go do it now. Do the one on how the root of all unhappiness is desire...You need to let go."

I did follow his advice about meditating, but I didn't do it on desire and letting go. I did it on what I thought I wanted. Am I not an idiot or what? I meditated on getting what I wanted. How stupid is that? I thought I knew what outcome would be best, so I thought I was being holistic, having a holistic perspective. I was having my own, limited perspective, is what I was having.

Tolle says that when we do that our life's journey is no longer an adventure, just an obsessive need to arrive. No longer an adventure. An obsessive need to arrive. I want my life to be an adventure. It is hard to let go, but that is the only way I will allow my life to have mystery, suspense, surprise, excitement. I want that.

We can't have it our way AND have adventure. If we did control everything that happens to us, our lives would become boring so quickly. Geez, the Red Sox would win the World Series every year. What fun would that be?

So, I'm back home in Rhode Island doing my best to do what Michael told me to do. I am going to let go and see what happens. I'll live with the not knowing. And even though it is hard not to get your own way, that is the price you pay to have the kind of quality life that I truly want to build and grow into. This letting go does feel a lot better than trying to make the world be the way I envision it should be. There is a deep sense of peace.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mr. Ferendo in his almost epic suite of Denmark is finally starting to mature into the metaphysical business. He is questioning the meanings of the happenings around him as symbols rather than just life without a spirit of adventure. He is realizing things much deeper and of which he is not now conscious that he has learned. These are the lessons that bloom unbidden at the most oportune times. They bloom with their fulfillment of the overmind rather than their frail but utterly necessary ego. Anybody on this series of blogs may enjoy watching the development of an understanding of the cosmos and the nearer events in our lives as Mr. Ferendo discovers more and deprograms more thoroughly.
Kudos Sir.

Marcus Fenestrum