I did another impulsive thing yesterday. I bought an airline ticket to Nicaragua. I leave in a week and come home before Christmas. So what is the problem and why have second thoughts? My dad said that if he were young and could he would too.
In my head I have to answer questions like: what, you couldn't stay home for a while? Why did you need to take off again? Don't you have anything better to do? You should save your money and take it easy. Can't you take the cold? Am I being irresponsible by being away from home so much?
I will admit it, even I think I must have an issue here. My nephew Ralphie told me in Vietnam that he travels because he must. I feel that way. I feel compelled to get away from the routine and go on an adventure, even if that adventure most likely will often involve times when I will hate what I have gotten myself into.
I admit it, I get restless, but who wouldn't, not having a job to go to? I'm told there are things I could do, but they all require giving up a large portion of my freedom. I can't do that.
Ultimately it comes down to a question of responsibility. Do I have a responsibility to stay here and do something, anything, or can I go off on these "adventures" with a clear conscience? What is my duty here? I often ask God to tell me what to do. I get answers to other questions, but not this one. Never, never am I told what to do.
Part of a prayer in A Course In Miracles says: "I do not have to worry about what to say or do because he will direct me." Fine. Direct me. So how does that happen? I have no doubt that God does direct me onto my life path, but I haven't a clue as to how, other than what my nephew said about knowing that he "must" do what he does. We do what we must and hope that we are being directed. I believe I am and accept that sometimes it feels like it's all a big mistake. But that's just the feeling at the moment, looking back I usually see purpose and perfection. It's all perfect, even our impulsiveness, our restlessness, our issues.
We all do what we must. And it's perfect.
In my head I have to answer questions like: what, you couldn't stay home for a while? Why did you need to take off again? Don't you have anything better to do? You should save your money and take it easy. Can't you take the cold? Am I being irresponsible by being away from home so much?
I will admit it, even I think I must have an issue here. My nephew Ralphie told me in Vietnam that he travels because he must. I feel that way. I feel compelled to get away from the routine and go on an adventure, even if that adventure most likely will often involve times when I will hate what I have gotten myself into.
I admit it, I get restless, but who wouldn't, not having a job to go to? I'm told there are things I could do, but they all require giving up a large portion of my freedom. I can't do that.
Ultimately it comes down to a question of responsibility. Do I have a responsibility to stay here and do something, anything, or can I go off on these "adventures" with a clear conscience? What is my duty here? I often ask God to tell me what to do. I get answers to other questions, but not this one. Never, never am I told what to do.
Part of a prayer in A Course In Miracles says: "I do not have to worry about what to say or do because he will direct me." Fine. Direct me. So how does that happen? I have no doubt that God does direct me onto my life path, but I haven't a clue as to how, other than what my nephew said about knowing that he "must" do what he does. We do what we must and hope that we are being directed. I believe I am and accept that sometimes it feels like it's all a big mistake. But that's just the feeling at the moment, looking back I usually see purpose and perfection. It's all perfect, even our impulsiveness, our restlessness, our issues.
We all do what we must. And it's perfect.
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